Devouring the dirtiest bulk.

November 24, 2015

For those of you who don’t know, Dirty Bulking is a nasty-licious dietary technique, wherein hard gaining bodybuilders eat as much as possible in hopes of getting as many calories as they can down the ole chute. For the rest of you, you know what we mean. Wink, wink.

Unfortunately, this approach ignores nutritional content in favor of sheer volume. Or fortunately, depending on how you look at it.

We know you’ve been bombarded for years with advice on how to eat in a clean manner. And that’s exactly what you should do. You should also pay off your credit cards, never procrastinate, get your oil changed every 2,000 miles, deep clean the fridge, put away your cell phone, and smile those daily-flossed pearls.

Call us swine, but if you’re like us this Thanksgiving week, you’re going to get down and dirty with a little bulking action. And if you’re going to do it, this week is the mother lode.

Without further ado, we offer you a couple of the dirtiest recipes this grand world affords.

Appetizer: Donut Sandwiched Bacon Cheddar Cheeseburger

Other Appetizer: Bacon Explosion: The BBQ Sausage Recipe of all Recipes

Entrée: Memphis Deep Fried Turkey, Baby

Entrée’s Friend: Sourdough Wild Mushroom Bacon Stuffing

Gravy: Sausage Gravy and Biscuits

Side Dish: Parmesan Butter Bomb Mashed Potatoes 

Side-Side Dish: Bacon and Almond Green Bean Casserole

Vegetables: Boston Baked Beans

Dessert: Lard Crust Sorghum Pecan Pie With Mama’s Blessing